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Chapter 7
Their house was on the edge of the black section with an apartment complex and street between us and the white section. One block away was Park avenue, the main street that catered to the wealthy and well to do. Brain and I went to my refer field in the Hammock that I had planted before leaving and cut down the plants and dried them. We gave very good deals and moved the pot quickly. At the time I had no transportation and they loaned me their car one night to go out. I went to a local bar where I fell into a conversation with four guys and soon we were drunk, bull shitting and having a good time. The asked me if I would give them a ride home in exchange for a bag full of miniature bottles of liquor that they had outside. One of them was a belligerent type but the others seemed all right so I agreed. I dropped two off and waited for a moment while they talked. On the way to drop the other two off I got into an argument with the belligerent one who was in the front seat. I missed a turn and he started cussing me and I pulled over and told him he could get out and walk. I may have accused him of having an incestuous relationship with his mother, I can't remember. He punched me in the face and I punched him back. We threw a few badly aimed punches and he grabbed the keys, jumped out and began kicking the side of the car and screaming. I swiveled to see what the longhair in the back was doing and he told me he didn't want any trouble. The other guy came up to the door and opened it and I picked up a pocket knife that was open by the side of the seat, telling him to give me the keys. We argued for a minute. The guy in the back began getting out and suddenly a foot appeared in my face sending my glassed into the back seat and causing me to drop the knife. He had kicked my head like it was a cabbage. Thought for the Moment: Cabbage, n. A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about a large and as wise as a man's head. Ambroce Bierce The Devil's Dictionary 1906 He kicked me again in the chest and tried to pull me out of the car. I rolled over on my side and kicked him in the chest and he picked up the knife. As I came back up he reached in and slashed my thumb with the knife. My friend, it is amazing how fast one can exit a car through the passenger door while sitting in the drivers seat. I took off down the sidewalk leaving a trail of blood behind me. Then, in the blur of the night, I saw the flashing lights of a police car. It was a most welcome sight. An ambulance came and bandaged up my hand and was going to take me to the hospital but it cost too much and I convinced the cop to let me drive. I think the cop wrote it up as the other guys knife, after all, it was stolen. My teeth were loose for a while and I had to borrow $180 for the stitches but I was a wiser man. Thought for the Moment: Experience is a good teacher, but she sends in terrific bills. Minna Antrim, Naked Truth and Veiled Allusions, 1902. A Detective called and said it would be investigated. I went back to the bar a couple of times and saw the longhair and talked to him, I told him I had no problem with him as he didn't take part. He told me that the guy had been in Orange County jail for battery and hadn't been around. He wouldn't talk to the Detective. DANCING LADIES AND OTHER STORIES
Brain and his wife eventually moved out west and started a family. I took over the house and rented the extra room out on three occasions. All disasters. The first renter was Snozz. His second wife had kicked him out and I let him move in without a deposit. Soon we were boozing like crazy. He eventually got a job with IBM fixing electric typewriters and moved to Ft. Lauderdale promising to pay me the rest of the rent for that month within a few weeks. He showed up to visit with a model that he was sleeping with but couldn't pay the money. He disappeared back south and I didn't hear from him. I kept thinking of that model. I finally took all the stuff that I was storing for him including a martial arts Kindo outfit and sold it. Doubled my money but Demon Rum got most of it. Snozz eventually moved back in with his wife but we didn't look each other up or speak for about two years. The second renter was a black guy from the neighborhood who had fallen on hard times and needed a temporary place to stay while waiting for some money. I rented the room to him with the understanding that it was for a short time. He had helped me out when a black girl in the apartment complex had developed a liking for me and her boyfriend thought I was sleeping with her. He had gone over and straightened things out. He had saved me some money when a black girl on Scholarship at Rollins College who was a distant cousin of his had wanted to rent a room. He told me she always rented from white guys but didn't always pay her rent. I was warned to get everything I could up front as she had a reputation for skipping out on the rent. On her second visit she said she was in a bad financial position and was flirting and hinting that things might happen between us. She was attractive and intelligent and I had never had a black girl but I told her she would have to put out up front plus pay the full amount. She declined to rent the room. About two weeks into his stay the black got into a fight with an old enemy and had two of his teeth knocked out. He came back to the house and ransacked my room and took my .45 automatic and went out to shoot the guy. I came home, surveyed the scene, called the cops and a friend from high school showed up to take the report. Little did I know the pistol was under the sink where he had put it so he could get it in a hurry. He came home and I kicked him out and that was the end of that. The third renter was a friend from high school who had gotten me a job as a photographer at the Navy base taking recruit pictures. Everything worked out fine for a while. He didn't drink or cause trouble. He seemed to want to sit around and talk a great deal but I didn't think much of it. Then he started brushing up against me a lot and finally walking around with an obvious hard on and inviting me to sit on his bed and talk to him at night. This just wasn't going to do. At first I told him that I had found two topless dancers that wanted to move hoping he would decide to leave. He said his girl could sleep on the couch but not even on the floor in his room. Finally I told him things just weren't working out and he would have to leave which he did. I swore off of renting spare rooms but years later rented a room while living in Viederville and working for a Portuguese landscaper. The urchin was about eighteen years old and had been kicked out of his house and was living on someone's porch. I let him rent the room without a deposit and pay by the week. He was almost never there and I didn't want to hear about what he was up to. While both of us smoked pot I made it a point to never smoke with him. He came in one night and said that he would like to smoke a joint with me just once. He said he understood that I didn't want to be known as someone who would give drugs to someone as young as him but he had some really good pot and he would like to share it with me. I finally relented and smoked the joint with him. I don't know what it was treated with but I was up all night. I walked outside and saw something on the side of the building, I couldn't tell if it was a gorilla or a group of commandos crawling up the side of the wall. I was on the verge of some very real hallucinations. The next morning the urchin and his belongings could be seen sitting outside the apartment. I would have punched him but the urchin outweighed me by twenty five pounds. He finally got my next door neighbor to take him to someone's house. As he loaded his belongings into the car it started to rain. I was thankful for the rain. There were other events of note in Winter Park. One of Snozz's ex temporary girlfriends came by and we went out. She was a bossy girl with a big mouth who could drink like a fish, exactly the type of girl that I usually don't like to be around. ( I know, so what was I doing with her in the first place? ) We went to a bar and must have gotten fairly inebriated as she had me on the dance floor several times. Back at the house we went to bed but my unconscious was up to its old tricks and though I pumped until we were both soaked in sweat no load could I drop. She said she was sorry she couldn't please me and I told her it wasn't her fault. The next day in a restaurant she was her usual bossy self and began climbing on my case about the previous night. I almost got up and walked out on her. That night it was a repeat performance. Bang, bang, bang, but no explosion. A perfectly good hard on wasted. She left the next day but kept her comments to a minimum. There was a topless bar not too far from the house. I was there during two busts. The first night there were three guys sitting at the dance platform howling and carrying on. Suddenly a cop came in through the door and took a picture. The three guys stood up and put badges on and in half a minute there were almost as many cops as patrons. The girls were rounded up and the ones that had been stepping over the line of the law were separated. One girl asked one of the cops if he wasn't the one who had busted her before, one cussed about the money she was going to loose, one who wasn't being busted complemented the undercover cops on their disguises. The owner showed up in a tuxedo with his lawyer and had the bar serve free beer while we waited. The girls outside the law were hauled off and the remainder got back up on stage and it was business as usual. The second bust was the same but no owner and no free beer. * It was Christmas eve and I had nothing to do so I went to the topless bar. The crowd was a bit thinner than usual and some of the girls had taken the night off. I had been there for an hour or so when one of the dancers came and sat by me and began talking. She was short, cute, very well built and an excellent dancer. She always made good tips. We talked for a while and she got up to do her turn on the dance floor and then returned. She asked if I could give her a ride home as she had talked the management into the rest of the night off. I said I would and started having visions of the two of us in bed. On the ride home she was carrying a small plant that someone had given her as a Christmas present, she talked of how her life was screwed up now but she was slowly getting it together. Her father worked for the Central Intelligence Agency and she didn't know where he was, they didn't have a good relationship. As we rounded the corner to her house she said, "Oh, good, I got home before my boyfriend, now I can clean the house before he gets here." "Boyfriend," I thought, "What boyfriend." and there went my visions right out the window. When she got out of the car she handed me the plant. "Merry Christmas," she said and disappeared into the house. * That topless bar cost me a bit of money one night. They had finally switched over to being a private club because of the police harassment. You paid $10 to join and a $5 door charge and you could drink all the free beer that you wanted. The only problem being when you could drink all the free beer that you wanted you drank all the free beer that you could. I felt that I was getting back some of my previous investment. I had been there one night and drank more than I should have and was walking home. A girl was walking towards me and stopped me and told me she was new in town and would I tell her where she might get a drink. I said there was a bar right down the street and she asked if I would escort her and tell her about the town. She would buy the beer. I decided one more beer wouldn't kill me. As we were walking she said she was cold and slipped her arm around me and put her hand in my pocket. I slipped my arm around her. Sober, there would have been alarm bells ringing in my head but that was not the case. Suddenly a car pulled up and she ran and jumped in. I was still trying to figure out what was going on as the car sped away. I checked for my wallet but it had vacated the premises along with the thirty dollars or so it contained and my emergency twenty. Someone called me the next day and said they had found my wallet outside their business. I didn't bother to call the police. You can meet some interesting people in a topless bar. During my youth I frequented a small topless bar where I got to know one of the dancers pretty well. She was from Alaska and was travelling with her boyfriend and their son in a converted bus. He worked on Harley Davidson motorcycles and rode one that he pulled behind the bus on a trailer. They had worked their way down to Florida, her in topless bars, he in motorcycle shops, and come to rest in Orlando for a while. She and I became pretty good friends and she would occasionally give me a free dance. She was the best dancer there although not the prettiest, she put the most into it and stayed sober unlike some of the girls. She and I began talking about sex and she said that some time maybe we would get it on. I was startled. She said that she and her old man had an open relationship and that as long as there was no attachment there would be no problem. I wanted to but my young mind kept having visions of three bikers walking up to me outside the bar. "Hey, Dirty John, there's the mother fucker that fucked your old lady." "But she told me you had an open relationship" I would plead. "She told you what!" Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! * There was one interesting experience that I think bears relating. I was in some topless bar one night at closing when a couple walked in. His wife started dancing to the music and taking off her blouse but the dancers complained and the master of ceremonies made her stop. They drank for the last few minutes and then suggested a party at their house. Several of the dancers said they would probably show up but only two of the guys said they might. Now it just so happened that I was horny so I said I would show up and got directions. Visions of being outnumbered by topless dancers danced through my mind. I arrived and I was the only one who ever did. No matter, said the husband, we would have our own party. We sat at the dining room table drinking while his wife went and put on a negligee and then started dancing for us. She came and sat on my lap and we talked. Now this situation put me just a little bit on edge but I soon relaxed. He said that his wife had been a good girl lately and that she deserved a treat. I was that treat. However, he was king and it was his castle, therefore he would go first. We undressed and went into the bedroom and he proceeded to make love to his wife. He was quick on the trigger and soon it was my turn. As I was pumping away he sat in the chair watching and masturbating. I checked over my shoulder to make sure he didn't become enamored of me. He went in to take a shower and when he walked out of the bathroom we were still at it. She chose this moment to exclaim about my stamina, women talk at the most inopportune moments,probably a payback for some offense on his part. He asked us if we were going to screw all night and walked into the living room. We finished up and went into the living room where he was waiting. There was a definite chill in the air, due, I would be willing to bet, on the lady's remark concerning my stamina. Mad Dog had fo pawed. He hustled me out and said that it was a one night thing and not to come back again. I went back the next day when I knew he was at work and knocked on the door but there was no answer. She didn't drive so I tried once again later but still no answer. I finally gave up due to visions of him showing up at an inopportune moment. Mad Dog, Mad Dog, Why ya such a bad dog. Dunno. * I was later to get a chance to make love to Brain's wife. She had flown back from out west to visit his parents. She and I went out and ended up at her brothers house. A pilot, he was off on a flight and before long we were kissing trading massages and fondling to our hearts content. I just couldn't bring myself to make love to my best friends wife. I think she was sort of mad that I didn't. It was one of those situations where you kick yourself in the ass if you do and you kick yourself in the ass if you don't. There will be those who read this publication that will say that I have no morals, scruples or ethics but I disagree. I think I have too many. Perhaps I should take them out into the woods and shoot them, I might be happier. I'll tell them we are going on a picnic. Of course Brain later did something that made me really kick myself in the ass for not banging her. * I started working at a service station a block from the house. The manager was stocky, an easy going type until he lost his temper then it took him a long time to find it again. The assistant manager was half Jewish and a former sergeant with the paratroopers who had been wounded in Viet Nam jumping with the 82nd Airborne. He had been shot twice in the side and leg and still carried the scars from a white phosphorus grenade that had gone off near him. He still occasionally jumped at backfires which the manager kidded him about. He was still gung-ho and once offered to teach the manager and I some German paratrooper songs but we declined. We had a conversation about my quitting the Army and he expressed his opinion and I expressed mine. That was the end of that, at least for the time being. He worked on the weekends, primarily for the free beer that the station provided. He never came up short at the end of the shift as the station didn't actually provide the free beer. The customer did. He soon had me learning the fine art of short-pumping and dispensing the theoretical can of oil. On his shift you weren't allowed to spend your own money on cigarettes or beer. At times there was enough overage for a six-pack and a package of cigarettes apiece. The Half-Jewish Paratrooper expressed dismay that I could have spent six months in the Army and not have made a profit other than my duffel bags. I pressed him for his financial experiences in the military but he would only say that he had learned quickly and it had been a profitable experience for him, though others had made much, much, more. Soon the Half-Jewish Paratrooper was taking with both hands and there were complaints from some of the customers to the manager and some said they would get even. The manager, who had no great aversion to the practice himself, finally had a word with him and he became more circumspect. I came home one day and found that someone had kicked in my back door and ransacked the house. My camera was gone as well as a few other items but the .45 automatic was still there. They had left just ten minutes before I arrived, I know this because in leaving through a window they unplugged the electric clock. Word came around that it was in retribution for the financial practices at the station. "You ought to know better than to live near where you work." was all the Half Jewish Paratrooper said. "Yea, that's kind of stupid." was the only comment of the manager. * The Half Jewish paratrooper and I would sometimes drink together after work, occasionally he would get me in at the Veterans of Foreign Wars local where he promised he wouldn't bring up my military history. Then one day at work he began getting on my case about dropping out of the Army. He kept on until even the manager thought it was a bit much. I explained that I thought of the contract to serve two years in the Army much the way that the US Government thought of their treaties with the Indians, open to interpretation and amendment. He kept on and kept on and finally I told him that in his particular case it was a pity that the Communists were such bad shots. That shook him. After this incident it was a while before he and I were on speaking terms. I have always felt that each person should live their life the way they see fit. Where a disagreement arises as to how someone should live their life, each side should express their opinions and then leave the subject alone in the interests of peace. I understand that there are those that are the exact opposite of this and some feel the need to express their opinions over and over. Usually I will put up with this to a point and then make a statement that is likely to preclude further discussion. I was to use the same statement with a former lieutenant I worked with on a construction site. The supervisor was a combat veteran of Korea, a sergeant, and didn't think too highly of me getting out of the Army. The lieutenant was rather gung-ho had been busted to a sergeant for a time in Viet Nam for opening fire on the enemy during a cease fire. He started in on me one day about getting out of the Army and wouldn't stop. I finally unloaded on him with the exact same words I used on HJP and his nostrils flared. He went and told the supervisor and he briefly got on both of our cases and made us shake hands and that was that. We later did some work together and got along fine. At the station there was almost a fight between the manager's son and I. He was a big boy who was planning to go into the Army. He was always speaking of all the heroic things he would do in the Army and berating me for getting out. I think HJP got him started to try and cause some trouble. He kept talking one day and commented on how skinny my arm was and how he would tear it off in a fight. He grabbed my arm once and then grabbed it again and I spun around and, with my knuckles flat, hit him in the throat. I didn't hit him hard enough to seriously injure him but left him choking for air for a short while. He decided not to pursue the matter. I warned him next time I would hit him for real and that solved the problem. HJP was shocked as I am normally not a violent person. He noted that he could have called the cops on me and I observed that as the youth had grabbed me first it would have been him going down on battery charges with a civil suit to boot. I noted that it was the supervisors responsibility to supervise and an attorney might consider the station at fault. The manager wanted to beat me up but thought better of it as in discussions on fights I had stated that if anyone started a fight with me, win or lose I would call a cop and a lawyer. No one bothered me about getting out of the Army after that. Some time later I was fired, I was told I had missed too many days and hadn't been doing my job. **** After a period of unemployment I took a job with a German Company selling vacuum cleaners and moved in with my parents as the job was straight commission. We would go door to door and register people for a prize drawing then the phone room would call them up telling them they had won a prize which they would receive if they listened to our presentation. We paid for the gifts. It wasn't easy selling a $700 set of vacuum and carpet cleaning machines. It took me over twenty presentations before I finally sold one. A salesman I ain't. There were some interesting experiences while I was there but I was there far too long. I was door knocking one night trying to cold sell and knocked in on a family sitting down to dinner and sold the set in less than an hour. Riding back from door to door registering one day I drove through some freshly laid asphalt and a big, burley guy yelled at me. I gave him the finger and kept going. I showed up at a house to give a presentation about a week later, guess who's house it was. I had registered his wife and drove through his asphalt. Neither of us mentioned the incident and I'm afraid I didn't give a very good presentation. I eventually sold the vacuum system to them and even brought them some fresh corn from the farm. His wife hinted at the incident once but no one spoke about it openly. Once I gave a demonstration to a divorcee, she didn't buy the vacuum cleaner but I went back the next night and spent the night with her though we talked on the phone several times nothing developed. When I left the company I a few hard feelings toward the office manager. Later I heard that he had lost his position as manager of the office and had been moved to a office with several people in it. He had gone from a large office with one way glass between him and the reception area to an desk with a door that opened in his face. I went to visit him. **** It would be impossible to relate exactly what I did after leaving the German Company and it is difficult to place the events I can remember in any chronological order. I have held such a number of jobs and lived in so many places that the reader will have to understand placing things in a proper time frame is rather difficult. I have worked in farming, sod delivery, landscaping, furniture delivery, irrigation installation, vacuum cleaner sales, equipment operator, carpenter's helper, construction labor, labor supervisor, final clean, cab driver, pest control, telephone solicitor, security guard, and a few others. I've dropped out of college, an anti-war march, the Army and a number of jobs. I even dropped out of an airplane once, fortunately or not, depending on your point of view, I had a parachute. I moved so many times between counties that I was called 5 or 6 times for jury duty. They seem to pick on new arrivals. Jury duty is interesting. Of the times I was called I served once on a case. We found for the defendant, an off duty cop who had hit a hitchhiker going home from a bar with the mirror on the side of his truck. I was let off a case involving the brother of my across the street neighbor. They asked me if the fact that he was the brother of my neighbor would prejudice my view of the case and I said yes. There was some laughter at my direct response but I got off. I was in the wrong courtroom once when they called me to be questioned, I categorically deny that I was in the wrong court room because of wanting to get out of jury duty and/or preferring to watch a cute, perky assistant District Attorney who had caught my eye. Of course most people would. I watched her nail two guys dead-bang on cocaine charges. Upon leaving a junior high school teacher of mine recognized me and informed me that they had called my name and noted I wasn't there. In my haste to straighten things out I didn't even acknowledge the teacher and took off to find a judge and get myself out of any trouble I might be in. I went back later to find my old teacher but she was gone. I was let off once as they had enough people and another time because I had moved. They seem to pick on new arrivals to the county within two years, I know people who have served once in an entire lifetime. When the last notice arrived I signed an affidavit saying I was moving to another county, though I didn't move quite as quickly as I thought, I didn't call them back and let them know I would be available. I didn't register again. I've never registered with either party, I've always an Independent. When I was voting I voted about an eighty per cent Republican ticket. In the smaller races if I didn't have enough information to make a choice I pulled the R lever as I thought the Democrats were a bit too keen on raising taxes. In presidential elections I have voted for a winner every time, I missed only one election. I'm now too tired of it to be bothered. I will not bore you with talk of politics. I can't listen to more than a minute or two of a politicians speech without turning off the television. I quite simply don't have a position on most of the issues other than government should stay out of peoples lives to the greatest extent possible. Thought for the Moment: Nothing is more conductive to peace of mind than not having any opinion at all. Litchenberg, Aphorisms, 1764-99 The checks and balances of democracy seem to be working well enough. Historically low voter turnouts are seen in countries that are not in political turmoil over some issue great enough to bring out high voting levels. You would not want to see times that would get me voting again. Whatever you and I might say about American politics and politicians, we are still free. There are no great threats looming on the short term international horizon. We should keep in mind that the greatest threat to our freedom might come from Washington. **** In Viederville I was always a highly suspect individual. Aside from my other activities I engaged in such flagrantly anti-social activities as walking. I would walk to the post office or store, a matter of some half mile one way. I would even carry a twelve pack of beer on the sidewalk. The Grapevine would carry the new back to me that people had asked about me, was my car broke, had I sold it. Some said I was an insult to civilization for not using my car. For a while the news circulated that I had gotten a DUI and that was the reason I was walking. I was encouraged by my family to drive once in a while to show people I still had my license. I kept walking. I used to take long walks in the woods and occasionally got caught in the rain when I didn't pay too much attention to the weather. The Grapevine would carry the news, Mad Dog was walking in the rain. Hell, I even walked at night. But people asked if I had gotten a DUI, something I have never had though I have on occasion deserved one. They asked why I walked and I was encouraged to say for exercise and not tell the real reason. I, may God forgive me, enjoy it. Thought for the Moment: One of the unpardonable sins, in the eyes of most people, is for a man to go about unlabelled. The world regards such a person as the police do an unmuzzled dog, not under proper control. T H Huxley, Evolution and Ethics, 1893 *
I was at the university library one day and decided to try and pick up one of the young ladies that were in abundant supply on campus. First, I fortified myself with a wine cooler or two and perhaps a toke then began talking to any good looking girl that came along. I struck out successively until I got one very attractive girl into a conversation. I finally asked her out and she said she couldn't go out with me just like that but I could come and talk to her at Burdines department store where she worked. She said she worked various hours and I would just have to catch her when I could. That night or the next I put on good clothes, shined my shoes, cleaned the car and headed for Burdines. No one seemed to know her on the floor so I went to personnel. They had no one by her name working at that store. Cunt! I decided to console myself with a drink. There was a bar about a half mile away that I hadn't been in many years. It had been a topless bar for a while then changed to a regular bar and I decided to see what was going on there now. A somewhat mannish bartendress with a poor attitude served me a Michilob. There was a black girl sitting to my right and another girl sitting to my left two guys were sitting at the end of the bar and several were playing pool. They had walled off part of the bar and I told the black girl that I hadn't been in there for quite a while and asked what they had done to that part of the bar. She told me I didn't want to go in there. We talked for a minute and it was just beginning to dawn on me that I was in a gay bar when a girl walked up to the girl on my left and started talking to her. Then she started rubbing her back, then kissing her on the ear and neck. I was going to watch those two women make love on that bar stool but the bartendress told them they had to leave to make love. They left and I guzzled my beer and wasn't far behind. **** I tried several entrepreneurial ventures over the years that were ill conceived and poorly planned and financed. A coupon book, a positive thinking publication that came close to making it in mail order and a publication on nuclear weapons that I hoped to sell in gun stores and to survivalists. The nuclear weapons publication had a large wall map of Florida on which I had updated the weapons laydown pattern based on information from the small plastic Nuclear Weapons Effect Computer disk provided by the Department of Energy and Department of Defense. The back was crammed with charts and statistics on weapons effects, effects of radiation on humans, animals and plants, fallout patterns, etc. Had I not been drinking on my capital at the time and had I taken a more serious attitude toward marketing it might have been a small success. Thought for the Moment: A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. G B Shaw When the telephone romance phone lines came out for women I knew they were going to make it. I tried to raise money from my family to get in on it but they were aghast at the idea. I was lectured on what society would say and termed demented. But enough about me, let me tell you about the little Village of Viederville though some say Viederville is gone now. Some say Viederville has only grown, others say it will always be there and some say there is a little bit of Viederville in every community.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Adventures in Belize Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10
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